A mothers journey towards acceptance and healing after the loss of her daughter.
I’m an artist and arts facilitator working with clay. I’m also and before anything else a mum of two wonderful daughters. My youngest one – Evie will always stay 22, after tragically losing two years long battle with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Today, two years on I’m still trying to find my way out of the rubble of broken universe which I’m left in after such tragic loss.
There is no preparation, guidelines or instruction book on how to process and deal with such a tragedy. We must each find our own path of acceptance and deal with it in our own ways. It is tempting to lead a path to self-destruction, lose hope and simply give up. But fighting and confronting the unfair and unjust will hopefully lead to the understanding that we crave.
Through clay, I attempt to see shape, structure, emotion and myself portrayed in a functional form. To me it is relatable, a moment captured in time, a measurement of where I was to where I am now.
I still spend days craving the embrace of a handful of pills to end the turmoil. Bury myself as best as I can in a bottle of wine to take the edge off and fight the overwhelming anxiety that sweeps over me like an unwanted visitor. But I fight on, focus on my art as and when my mind allows me and battle each day towards an understanding of both the loss of my daughter and my own sense of worth.